I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
