You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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