hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
