we made out on top of his cat.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
