that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
