Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
That's when you crack a 10am beer
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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