Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
