I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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