I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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