I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
