so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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