how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
