your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.