I think my vagina is haunted
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.