There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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