We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
