I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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