I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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