She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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