Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
