I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
