your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
