All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
