whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
