My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
