Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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