She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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