if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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