I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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