they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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