my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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