Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
