If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
