I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
