i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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