i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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