Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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