piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
