ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I will pee on everything he values.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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