my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
