I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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