Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
