I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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