to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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