when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
