I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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