The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
