I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
