Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
