I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
