What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We don't watch enough power rangers
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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