I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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