ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
