I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
