absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
