If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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