I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
