tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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