It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
