man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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