Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
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also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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