dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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