Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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