It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this just has baby written all over it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How does one acquire holy water?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
