I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
