she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
