My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
