chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
