I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
