This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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