Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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