hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
